The Muir Island Files
by kataract52
Summary: These are the records of Dr. Moira MacTaggert during her treatment of a very troubled young woman.


**Disclaimer**: I do not own the X-Men or make any money from this work.

**Author's Notes:** This story is set after the completion of my 'Honor Saga'. Honor is the daughter of Gambit and Bella Donna, introduced during X-Treme X-Men, when Gambit and Rogue had temporarily retired while powerless. Following Bella Donna's death and the shock of her physical mutations, Honor loses her sanity and is abducted, tortured and raped. In an attempt to reclaim her health, Honor is sent to Muir Island to be treated by Dr. MacTaggert.

The Muir Island Files

Muir Island, Scotland

6 December 1998, 12:18 p.m.

Dictated by Dr. Moira MacTaggert

Patient: Honor Julien LeBeau

New patient Honor Julien LeBeau referred to Dr. MacTaggert by Dr. Henry McCoy. Honor is a twelve-year-old American female, born in New Orleans, Louisiana, where she lived for the first eleven years of her life.

She is the daughter of divorced parents Remy LeBeau (father) and Isabella LeBeau (mother/alias). Remy is a healthy _homo superior_, approximately thirty-one years old. He has refused monitored testing of his mutant capabilities, but has admitted to being occasionally overwhelmed by his abilities. As a young man, he underwent a mysterious and impossibly advanced operation to limit his mutations. He is currently employed with Charles Xavier in active combat. He had no contact or involvement with Honor for the first eleven years of her life.

Isabella "Bella" is a healthy _homo sapien_; thirty-one years old. At age twenty-three, Bella became very ill and nearly died. Upon recovering, she suffered a brief period of mental illness, but has since and otherwise been stable. She was formerly the manager of a bar in New Orleans. Also, her family continues to operate an illegal market. Bella was the only parental influence for the first eleven years of Honor's upbringing.

On 12 December 1997, Bella was killed in a shopping mall. Honor did not witness the incident, but found her mother's body. As a result of the trauma, Honor's mutant genes activated. Additional people were also killed in the attack. The investigation is still pending.

Honor repressed the memories of that day, and sought out her biological father with the assistance of her godfather, Juan-Heriberto de Torres-Barrera-Sanchez (a.k.a. "Johnny Sanchez"). Honor and Johnny spent six months hunting Remy. During this crucial time of development, her education and social skills were completely neglected. However, the energy that would have been applied to these areas helped create a psionic bond with her target: Remy LeBeau.

The strength of this bond is untested, due to Remy's non-compliance.

Upon uniting, Johnny relinquished his temporary custody to Remy. Johnny then turned his entire focus to his career as a musical entertainer.

Honor lived briefly with Remy and live-in girlfriend, Rogue LeBeau (alias) in Valle Soleada, California. When school resumed in September 1998, the LeBeaus relocated to Westchester, New York, where Remy and Rogue work for Professor Charles Xavier. Honor attended school in the same facility.

Initially, Honor tested beyond her class potential. The school recommended placing her in the eighth grade: the school year typically held by students a year older than she. Remy requested she be placed in the seventh grade, which is lower and normal for her age. The school complied.

Not surprisingly, her scores were above average.

However, whenever Remy left the area on work assignments, her behavior became destructive and delinquent. She had a confrontation with the staff, which resulted in a runaway attempt. During said attempt, the bus was caught in a city riot, and Honor's mutations returned to their original level. She was able to protect the other passengers until help arrived.

At this point, Honor verbally expressed a concern for her mental well-being.

She was monitored by Dr. McCoy and returned to school. Before receiving a clean bill of health, Honor was abducted by two incredibly powerful and corrupt individuals. One of her abductors, known only as "Mr. Sinister", was the doctor who performed Remy's lobotomy a decade earlier, and seems to have a fascination with the father-daughter pair. Mr. Sinister abused Honor physically and mentally, resulting in a more mature body than is average for her age, and catatonic episodes. She is also prone to self-destructive episodes of which she claims to have no recollection.

Due to her incredible powers and mental instability, her primary physician has referred her to Dr. MacTaggert. Muir Island has the staff and facility best equipped to aid Honor in her recovery. Although renowned for her work in genetics, Dr. MacTaggert has devoted her life to helping young mutants with uncontrollable abilities. She has taken a personal interest in Honor, and will be handling the case directly.

One final note of interest: Mr. Sinister was able to create a living clone of Honor's late mother. This woman goes by the alias "Isabella (Bella) LeBeau", but has otherwise claimed the life of her predecessor. Honor seems to accept this woman as authentic.

Both Remy and Bella have accompanied Honor to Muir Island. They are extremely distrustful of laboratories and doctors, and insist on approving any course of treatment. They insist on supervising all activities, excluding therapy sessions, which are recorded for transcript.

13 December 1998, 11:05 a.m.

Dr. MacTaggert's office

The following is Dr. MacTaggert's first interview with Honor.

Patient is extremely disconnected: borderline catatonic. Hair and teeth are un-brushed; still dressed in sleeping clothes. Eyes dilated and unresponsive.

Dr. MacTaggert: I want to thank you for coming, Honor. I know how difficult even little tasks can be. Getting out of bed is a victory for you today. One you couldn't manage yesterday.

Forgive me; we've not been properly introduced. I'm Dr. Moira MacTaggert. You may call me Moira or Dr. MacTaggert, whichever you feel more comfortable with. I'd like to review our schedule, if that's all right. We'll meet here every morning as part of your rehabilitation. You can feel free to tell me anything you feel comfortable discussing. I'm not here to judge. Our conversations are recorded. You can see there. That was a condition on your parents' part.

Do you have any questions?

(Pause.)

Is there anything you'd like to talk about?

(Pause.)

All right then, how about I tell you a little more about myself? Do you know why I built this facility? (Pause.) My son Kevin was a very sick boy. He could do anything he imagined. I know that sounds amazing, but it was a very dangerous situation. Can you imagine your every thought becoming real? (Pause.) He was very sick.

Unfortunately, I couldn't cure Kevin. By "cure", I don't mean remove his mutations. That was never my intention. I only wanted to help him control his powers, rather than the other way around. But just because I couldn't cure him, that doesn't mean I couldn't help him. I could and I did. He lived a good many years on Muir Island. He had times of happiness and clarity that otherwise he would have never known.

I have saved many of the young mutants who come to Muir Island. But rehabilitation is a long process. Sometimes I never see the end result. I take comfort in the happy times, the clear times I can offer my patients.

(Pause.)

Are you here, Honor?

End session.

Honor begins regiment of mild anti-depressants and chemicals. Detailed accounts of medications recorded in her medical file. Amounts to be adjusted as determined by her doctors.

Parents concerned but supportive of treatment plan. Honor appears indifferent: follows direction easily.

Patient slept for fourteen hours.

14 December 1998

Honor slept a consecutive twenty-four hours. Ignored orderlies when they attempted to wake her. At 5 p.m., her father managed to wake her and encouraged her to eat a light supper.

Received one bag of saline to compensate for dehydration. Increasing dosage of antidepressants.

15 December 1998

10:59 a.m.

The following is a therapy session between Dr. MacTaggert and Honor LeBeau. Patient's eyes clear; poorly dressed, but out of sleeping attire.

Dr. MacTaggert: Good morning, dear. You're looking much better today. How do you feel?

Honor: The meds…

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: Yes?

Honor: Make my heart race.

Dr. MacTaggert: That's because you're resisting the effects. It's meant to give you energy. Any other side effects? Are you having unusual thoughts? Night sweats?

Honor: I need to sleep.

Dr. MacTaggert: Not fourteen or twenty hours a day.

Honor: Teenagers need more sleep than children or adults. I read that somewhere. You're a doctor, don't you know that? Anyway, I never slept as a kid. I'm making up for lost time.

Dr. MacTaggert: I'm afraid your body doesn't work that way.

Honor: How many artificially aged, alpha-level physcos have you treated?

Dr. MacTaggert: I've worked with enough teenagers to recognize depression when I see it.

(Pause.)

Honor: If you're done wasting my time, I'd like to leave now.

End session.

Patient ate one meal, again at her parents' insistence. Took medication as required. Slept eleven hours. Remained inactive in room under parents' supervision.

16 December 1998

7:32 a.m.

Isabella LeBeau woke Dr. MacTaggert at 3:14 a.m. on this date. Remy LeBeau was disturbed from sleep and found Honor in the bathroom. She had removed and broken the mirror, and used the material to cut her neck. Remy applied pressure to the lacerations and sent Bella for the doctor.

At the scene, Dr. MacTaggert found the patient still conscious but weak and disoriented. Emergency surgery saved her life. Therapy postponed until her condition is stable.

7:15 p.m.

Vitals stable. Heart working a little too hard: suggestive of _anorexia_ _nervosa_, although weight within healthy guidelines. Removing _Ritalin_ from medication plan.

Injuries healing better than expected. Scheduled to be released from ICU on the seventeenth.

Side note: both parents administered a mild sedative and counseling with Dr. Osbourn.

17 December 1998

Honor moved from ICU to post-op. Remy was very upset by her restraints, and actually struck Dr. Kelley before bodily removing her arm and leg restraints. He was determined to pull Honor from the program until Dr. MacTaggert spoke with him.

Doctors and parents reached a compromise: Honor would be physically restrained by her parents in lieu of traditional straps.

During ordeal, patient was awake but heavily drugged. Morphine will be decreased throughout the night. By morning, she'll begin _Vicodin_ regiment and resume therapy.

18 December 1998

8:16 a.m.

Honor released from post-op into Category I room. Parents unhappy by starkness of new room but consented. The removal of unnecessary items is not a form of punishment, but rather a removal of potential weapons. Since she has been determined as a threat to herself, Honor must be watched twenty-fours a day.

Parents elected to watch her in twelve-hour shifts, with Bella taking the first shift. Mother reports Honor apologizing for the suicide attempt: claims to have no recollection of event.

The following is a therapy session between Dr. MacTaggert and Honor LeBeau on given date at 11:00 a.m.

Dr. MacTaggert: Thank you for coming, dear. How are you feeling today?

Honor: Neck… itches a little.

Dr. MacTaggert: That's the stitches. You won't have to keep them very long. You know, when I ask how you're feeling, I don't just mean physically. I'd like to know how you're doing emotionally, too. Could we talk about that today?

Honor: (Inaudible mumble.)

Dr. MacTaggert: I'm sorry. What was that?

Honor: I said I feel ugly! And no, I don't want to talk about it!

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: Would you prefer to discuss religion? You're Catholic, aren't you? And you're parents, what about them?

Honor: Well, Momma still goes to church and prays and stuff, but Papa's a bad Catholic.

Dr. MacTaggert: Catholics teach that suicide is a hell-worthy sin. Do you believe that, too?

Honor: Life is hell.

Dr. MacTaggert: I think your mother believes that. She was most upset by what you did.

Honor: I told her I was sorry.

Dr. MacTaggert: Did you mean it? Or were you just trying to comfort her?

Honor: Are you calling me a liar?

Dr. MacTaggert: No, but suicide isn't something you can undo. You must've known that. If your father hadn't found you, you'd most likely be dead. Why would you gamble with your life unless you were certain of your goal?

Honor: I didn't think it was real! I-

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: Go on.

Honor: It was like a dream. Nothing was real. I had no inhibitions. I had a thought, so I did it. It's the meds. I told you to take me off.

Dr. MacTaggert: I'm not giving you anything that would cause a reaction like that. Can you tell me the series of events that lead to your suicide attempt?

Honor: I felt funny all day. Like I was going to lose control. When I feel that way, it helps to sleep. So I went to bed early. I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I just felt so bad. Ugly. Like big black roaches were crawling under my skin, spreading their germs. I felt sick. Dirty. And I knew it would never end. I had to do something, Dr. MacTaggert.

Dr. MacTaggert: You are doing something, dear! The medication, the therapy, the meals are all designed to help ease your suffering. The next time you feel that way, come to me and I can help. That's what we're here for, yes?

Honor: That's what everyone says, but no one can help me. Sinister came closest, but he just turned me into a zombie. Is that my life? Zombie or roach-bag? (Crying.)

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: Don't lose hope, dear. We'll work through this.

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: How long has it been since you cried?

Honor: It was before Momma died.

Dr. MacTaggert: You didn't even cry then?

Honor: Couldn't. Everyone else did, but I couldn't.

Dr. MacTaggert: Do you think maybe that's the reason you feel so bad?

End session.

Honor resumes regiment of antidepressants and prescribed chemicals to balance mutations. Dr. MacTaggert believes excess energy is disrupting brain patterns. Also, began special diet totaling slightly above average requirement intake. Balancing with outdoor chores under doctor supervision.

Patient deals with chores better than diet.

Slept eight hours.

Side note: Remy has elected to withdraw from counseling with Dr. Osbourn. Bella continues therapy.

19 December 1998

11:00 a.m.

Following is a therapy session between Dr. MacTaggert and Honor LeBeau on listed date. Patient in church attire. Eyes focused and skin color healthy.

Dr. MacTaggert: Good morning, dear. You look so pretty today. You're an absolute vision.

Honor: Excluding this Frankenstein neck.

Dr. MacTaggert: Oh, those will heal. You are such a pretty young lady. This is the first time so far that I've seen you looking focused and alert, and it's very encouraging. Very encouraging.

Honor: If I'd known it would've made you this happy to see me in a dress, I would've been wearing them all along.

Dr. MacTaggert: Was that a joke? Look at you!

Honor: Momma bought it for me. She had to go across the pond to get me all new underwear and clothes. She told me about the pubs and stuff. Said everyone on the mainland was so friendly. She wants to take me there for a visit.

Dr. MacTaggert: One step at a time, dear. I know your parents took you to church today. How did that go?

Honor: The church was beautiful. But the priest was a little hard to understand. Did you know the churches here have real wine?

Dr. MacTaggert: The churches in the States don't?

Honor: Not the ones I went to. Grape juice. Papa was excited, too; he went back for a refill. Momma could've killed him, I think.

Dr. MacTaggert: Sounds like you enjoyed yourself.

Honor: Papa kept saying he was going to burst into flames if he went to church. But he didn't. Then he fell asleep during prayer. Momma kept nudging him, but he wouldn't wake up. So she slapped his knee, and he jolted up! Slammed his head into the pew in front of us. Bam! Just like a gunshot!

Dr. MacTaggert: Bet that went over well.

Honor: He was holding his head and rocking back and forth, trying not to curse in church. Momma started coughing – like that would help! I had to bury my face into my coat because I couldn't stop laughing. And everyone was looking at us!

Dr. MacTaggert: I'm surprised Father McCullough didn't hurl down damnation at you heathens.

Honor: Momma was in confessional for a while. I'm sure she was doing penance for us.

Dr. MacTaggert: Do you confess?

Honor: I did. I mean, I use to, but it's been a while. I had planned on it, but once I got there, I didn't know where to begin. And if I told him I had killed people… He'd never forgive me. I could explain, but he wouldn't understand.

Dr. MacTaggert: Did you know Mr. Wagner's a priest?

Honor: No.

Dr. MacTaggert: I could have him come visit you sometime. If you like. Not necessarily to hear your confession, but he could offer some spiritual guidance.

Honor: It would be great to have a visitor.

Dr. MacTaggert: Then I'll ring him. Of course, you can tell him the things we discuss. I'm curious. Do you feel more comfortable around him? Would you open up more easily to him? Maybe you'll tell him about your abduction.

Honor: Maybe I will. But I don't know why you're bringing it up. My parents already told you what happened.

Dr. MacTaggert: No, they told me what they know. They could never tell me what happened to you. Only you can do that.

Honor: (Crying.) Why do you always want to see me cry?

Dr. MacTaggert: That wasn't my intention.

Honor: You know, today was the first day in a long time that I laughed. You doctors are all about weeping. Good for the mind and all that. Maybe laughter's just as important!

Dr. MacTaggert: I agree.

Honor: So just let this be a good day. Okay?

End session.

Honor complies with prescribed diet and medication. Declined chores today due to exhaustion, and slept eleven hours.

Side note: For the first time since admittance, parents requested an orderly to observe Honor after ten p.m. Orderly reports overhearing an argument. Bella returned to relieve the orderly in tears, and Remy took the midnight ferry to the mainland.

Remy attempted to return at seven a.m. and was confronted by Dr. MacTaggert. Dr. MacTaggert informed him that his behavior was counterproductive to Honor's recovery, and that he needed to gain some discipline or face expulsion from Muir Island.

20 December 1998

Honor returned to Category III room. Regular therapy today replaced with group therapy lead by Dr. Croft in the parlor. Thus far, Honor's interaction with the fellow patients has been limited to shared chores. Supervising doctors report she has treated strangers acceptably, but that she is emotionally detached.

Dr. MacTaggert is hopeful that group therapy will help Honor reconnect to her surroundings. By hearing stories of the other patients' trauma and progress, she will be encouraged to discuss her own trauma.

Following group therapy, Dr. Croft offered the following opinion:

Patient was initially quiet but curious. Immediately took an interest in our most difficult patient, David Haller. David's Jemail Karami persona expressed some verbal and physical abuse towards Honor, but her interest remained unaltered. The abuse increased until intervention became necessary.

It is the opinion of Dr. Croft that Honor approached David because he was isolated and that she would not have surrendered her pursuit without outside interference.

After said incident, the other patients offered Honor support and comfort. They expressed an honest curiosity about her and her parents. At this point, she seemed to open up to the others.

The group discussion next turned towards mutations and the abuses that led the patients to rehabilitation at Muir Island. As usual, Aimee Duvall candidly recalled her struggles and mistakes, and encouraged Honor in her treatment. Honor seemed very comfortable, but remained silent. Every patient excluding Honor and David had something to contribute.

Aimee digressed into healthy forms of release. Honor mentioned playing the piano to clear her mind. Dr. Croft has suggested this to Dr. MacTaggert.

Finally, the discussion moved to goals for the week. Honor offered nothing, so Dr. Croft asked her directly what she hoped to accomplish.

She replied: I just hope I'm still alive in seven days.

The other patients were quiet for a moment. David surprised everyone by finally speaking: "You didn't want that seven days ago. They might actually let you leave."

End session.

Honor voluntarily participated in chores, diet and medication plans. Actively left room during down time. Orderlies report seeing her alone.

Vicodin removed from schedule. No complaints of pain.

Adding mutations control activities to regiment. Dr. MacTaggert will monitor energy, blood counts, and mood changes. Doctors MacTaggert and Osbourn will supervise physical excursion.

Slept eight hours.

21 December 1998

11:02 a.m.

The following is a therapy session between Dr. MacTaggert and Honor LeBeau. Patient dressed in large clothing and avoiding eye contact.

Dr. MacTaggert: Good morning, Honor. How are you-

Honor: How are you feeling, Honor? How do you feel about this? How do you feel about that? How long do we have to talk about my feelings?

Dr. MacTaggert: It's too early to discuss releasing you. Can you tell me why you're so upset?

Honor: I'm watched all the fregging time! Every time I crap, you weigh it and record it and we have to talk about it! You treat me like an animal!

Dr. MacTaggert: You're monitored for your own safety, dear. Remember: you tried to end your own life a week ago. It will be a while before you have the opportunity to repeat that scenario.

Honor: My neck hurts like hell, you idiot! Besides, if I really wanted to die, I could just throw myself off a cliff!

Dr. MacTaggert: You're terrified of heights. I don't believe you'd choose that method.

Honor: Stop acting like you know me! You have no idea what's going on in my head! I hate you! I hate you!

Honor proceeded to destroy Dr. MacTaggert's office and was removed and sedated. Patient slept for three hours until the medication subsided. Dr. MacTaggert returned to Honor's room after she re-gained consciousness.

Honor: God. This is the nightmare that just won't end.

Dr. MacTaggert: I just wanted to see if you were well. Why did you destroy my office?

(Pause.)

Honor: Aimee says if I just hurry up and talk about the abuse, you'll think I'm better and release me.

Dr. MacTaggert: She's wrong. You should never be pushed or push yourself into facing matters you're ill-prepared for. Was that the reason behind your rage? You were thinking about the abuse?

(Pause.)

Honor: It's really not as bad as everyone thinks. I know you want to hear about torturous experiments and dungeons and the agonizing pursuit of perfection, but Mr. Sinister isn't like that. [At] least he wasn't with me.

Dr. MacTaggert: But he did perform experiments on you. He abducted you from your home and parents. He altered your life without any concern for the consequences. He subjected you to alien procedures that scarred your body and psyche. He devastated your well-being for his own benefit.

Honor: Stop it! It wasn't like that! He was only trying to help me reach my potential. The methods were painful. It couldn't be helped, but he took it into consideration. Sleep wasn't enough, so he found a way to help me switch my mind off. It was my own fault that I couldn't always control when it happened!

Dr. MacTaggert: Were you still aware of your surroundings during these spells?

Honor: Yes. I could still hear and see, but I couldn't… Couldn't be heard or seen.

Dr. MacTaggert: How often did this occur?

Honor: A few times a day.

Dr. MacTaggert: Does it still happen?

Honor: No.

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: Do you think it's possible that Mr. Sinister wanted to create these spells? Maybe it was a way for him to repress your freewill.

Honor: Sinister didn't want brain dead slaves. He's had enough of those. You don't understand.

Dr. MacTaggert: Help me understand.

Honor: When he – when Mr. Sinister was still new, he was fascinated by pain. It was a game with him. He'd take the strong and make them weak. But that lost its flavor. By the time he met me, he was more interested in taking the strong and making them stronger. To him, I was a little girl in need of guidance. He wanted to be the one to light the way for me. Just like you.

Dr. MacTaggert: You'd put me in league with Sinister?

Honor: Hell no! I'm just saying you have something in common.

Dr. MacTaggert: Sounds like you admire him.

Honor: I try to keep an open mind. You must know how brilliant he is. Personally, I'm not anymore free here than I was with him.

Dr. MacTaggert: Given the choice between Muir Island and the Moon, where would you prefer to be?

Honor: I don't know. Here, I've got my parents. On the Moon, I had Nate and Tess. My friends are like my family. I think I'd give just about anything to see them again.

(Pause.)

Honor: But on the Moon, Papa wouldn't be able to smoke. That would kind of put a damper on things. So I guess Muir Island would win out.

Dr. MacTaggert: Despite your little outburst, I think we're really making progress. I know how difficult this has been for you, dear. Would you like to get some more rest, or are you feeling up to mutations control?

Honor: I'd like to get some air, thanks.

End session.

Patient complied with medication, diet and exercise regimen. Became irritable and rebellious during mutations control. Dr. MacTaggert requested that Remy lead the lesson. The goal here was for Honor to become more confident with her mutations, and establish trust between the father and daughter.

Initially, the pair worked well together. But as the class progressed, Remy continued to push Honor, and she refused to comply. Consequently, she received some minor burns and was treated and released.

Dr. MacTaggert persuaded Remy to return to family rehabilitation with Bella.

On the evening of the same day, Kurt Wagner arrived at Muir Island at the request of Dr. MacTaggert. He was accompanied by his foster-sister and Remy's girlfriend, Rogue.

Rogue was not invited and her presence has been a distraction for the entire LeBeau family. She has agreed to comply with Dr. MacTaggert's conditions, and thus far has not been asked to leave.

Honor broke curfew with Father Wagner, but was excused under the circumstances.

Slept six hours.

22 December 1998

Father Wagner returned a positive report on his conversation with Honor. Due to the confidential relationship of confessionals, he cannot give details. However, he did say she showed genuine remorse for her actions, and is eager to continue with her treatment.

The following is a therapy session between Dr. MacTaggert and Honor on the listed date at 11:05 a.m.

Patient is dressed in winter clothes, face flushed, hair slightly disheveled, and eyes bright.

Dr. MacTaggert: Good morning, dear. Where have you been?

Honor: We went ice-skating today. On the pond. Lots of the other patients were down there, too, so we decided to try it. I've never been.

Dr. MacTaggert: Who went?

Honor: Aimee and Candy and Thomas were all there. Harry, too, I think. I can't remember everyone's names. I went with Mr. Wagner and Rogue and my parents. Papa's not very good at winter sports, so he just walked with us. But even then, he kept falling. He'd take two steps and whomp! And he'd get so mad, 'cause once he fell, he couldn't stop. He just kept sliding.

Dr. MacTaggert: So he was the worst. Who was the best?

Honor: Me, of course! I kept trying new tricks like back spins and stuff. Momma told me not to push myself, but Papa said 'Oh, just let her be a kid!' So she tripped him up. Face first into the ice!

Dr. MacTaggert: Sounds like you all had a great time.

Honor: Yeah, we did. And just so you don't think we're completely dysfunctional, my parents made up before we left the pond. Momma helped him back to solid ground. His feet were slipping all over the place. I could tell they were having a moment, so Mr. Wagner and I helped each other get our skates off.

Rogue was sitting all sad by herself. I know she feels left out a lot. Especially since Papa had to leave her to come here. And even now that she's with him, he doesn't have a lot of time to spend with her.

Dr. MacTaggert: You need his attention more than she does, I'm afraid.

Honor: Anyways, I told her not to feel left out. I said Momma and Papa and I are a family, but she's a part of our family, too.

Dr. MacTaggert: That was very kind of you. We've never discussed Rogue. What do you think about her?

Honor: She's great. And she's great for Pop. I've told him before that when she leaves, she takes the best parts of him with her.

Dr. MacTaggert: Well, I happen to know you're one of the few people that man will listen to. And I know he doesn't get a lot of encouragement about dating Rogue. Are you happy she's here?

Honor: Of course. Can't you see how happy Papa is?

Dr. MacTaggert: But what about you? Are you happy?

Honor: I already said yes. Why don't you want me to be happy about Rogue being here?

Dr. MacTaggert: You and I have never discussed your link with your father. Can you tell me how it works? Do you ever have thought or mood interference?

Honor: No, it doesn't work that way. It's like a separate compartment in my mind. I can feel where he is and how he's feeling, but I'm always aware that it's his life and not mine. And, of course, he's learned to censor some things.

Dr. MacTaggert: How is that possible?

Honor: I don't know.

Dr. MacTaggert: Your friend Tess told Dr. McCoy that she thinks your abilities are precognitive in nature. Do you agree?

Honor: I really don't know what you want to call me, but I do seem to know more than other people.

Dr. MacTaggert: Can you give me an example?

(Pause.)

Honor: When I was on the moon, I knew Rogue was pregnant.

Dr. MacTaggert: Is she?

Honor: Yes. With twins. A boy and a girl. I found out before she did, but I think she must've known. Momma said a woman's intuition works that way, and that she knew the very second she got pregnant with me. But it only just happened to Rogue. I haven't talked to her about it yet.

Dr. MacTaggert: Does your father know?

Honor: Yes, but they aren't telling people yet. It's kind of awkward 'cause they aren't married and people would expect Papa to be with Rogue right now. But… they both think he's needed here. So they're just kind of keeping it on the low for now.

Dr. MacTaggert: How do you feel about all that?

Honor: I'm excited. I've always wanted siblings, and I can't wait to meet them.

Dr. MacTaggert: So if I may, I'd like to take a look at the bigger picture here. While you were being held captive on the Moon, hundreds of miles from your father, you learned something about him that he didn't know. But you failed to see the danger ahead of you?

Honor: Funny, huh?

Dr. MacTaggert: Do you have any thoughts on that?

Honor: Well, sure, just think about it. Just ponder the impossibility of predicting your own actions, and it's enough to make your head explode!

Dr. MacTaggert: All right. Moving on; how do you feel about Mr. Wagner being here?

Honor: He's been a big help.

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: Why are you crying?

Honor: I don't know. He's just such a great listener. It's been so great being able to talk to him. I didn't think I could ever feel this way again.

Dr. MacTaggert: How?

Honor: I feel like I can sleep again. And I don't have to be afraid to wake up.

Dr. MacTaggert: Would you like to tell me what you talked about?

Honor: He told me that the devil leads us all into temptation. And that the sin is not in failing, but in being too proud to repent and forgive,

Dr. MacTaggert: I can see how upset this is making you, dear. Would you like to take a break?

End session.

As usual, patient complied with regiment. Still reluctant with mutations control. Remy supervised but did not participate. Honor spent the evening with Mr. Wagner.

Slept eight hours.

23 December 1998

At 8:45 a.m. on the listed date, Rogue came to the infirmary complaining of abdominal cramps. Dr. Croft immediately admitted her and determined the fetuses were still viable. It is the opinion of Dr. Croft that Rogue's uncontrolled mutations are endangering her pregnancy. A temporary solution has been found in a Genoshan collar, which will neutralize her mutations indefinitely.

Remy and Bella are aware of the incident, but Honor is not.

The following therapy session takes place on the listed date at 11:00 a.m. between Dr. MacTaggert and Honor LeBeau.

Dr. MacTaggert: Good morning, dear. Please have a seat and I'll be right with you.

Honor: I like what you've done with your office. Very festive.

Dr. MacTaggert: Thank you. Very sorry about that. An emergency with David.

Honor: Do you need to reschedule?

Dr. MacTaggert: Absolutely not. It's all been resolved, and you are my priority. How've you been?

Honor: Don't you ever get tired of talking about me? How about you, Dr. MacTaggert; how've you been?

Dr. MacTaggert: Very well, thank you. I'm curious to know how your evening with Father Wagner went.

Honor: Dr. MacTaggert, may I ask you something personal?

Dr. MacTaggert: Certainly, dear.

Honor: What was your first time like?

Dr. MacTaggert: First time with what?

Honor: Sex.

Dr. MacTaggert: Oh. Gracious. Well, it was with a boy to whom I felt much attached. We were planning to marry, and I couldn't imagine my life without him. One night, I invited him up for a nightcap, and the inevitable happened.

Honor: How did you feel about it?

Dr. MacTaggert: I never had any regrets about it. But I'm very lucky. Not everyone can say the same.

Honor: Momma says it's nothing like people make it out to be.

Dr. MacTaggert: You've spoken to your mother about this as well?

Honor: She was almost my age when she first started having sex. She says she has no illusions about me staying in the dark forever, and she wanted to warn me. She told me all about. About body fluids and hormones and how much it hurts when you lose that person. Papa was her first. He loved her, I think, but he cheated on her all the time.

Dr. MacTaggert: You mean he was unfaithful?

Honor: Yes. He said he was only thinking about himself. Momma did it out of love, but he didn't. He loved her, but that's not why he did it. He says it's almost impossible for him to equate sex with love.

Dr. MacTaggert: Wow. Honor, dear, did your parents tell you it's not normal to become sexually active at twelve? Not only is not "normal", but it's unhealthy. You increase your chances of an unplanned pregnancy, contacting a sexually transmitted disease, and cervical cancer.

Honor: You're such a doctor.

Dr. MacTaggert: Don't you worry, dear; I was just getting to the moral implications. Your father was trying to warn you that some men have less than noble motives, but not every man feels sex is an empty action. In fact, when you're in a committed relationship, you'll realize that intercourse is the ultimate expression of your feelings.

Honor: You don't understand my father. He's broken. He was raped when he was just a little kid.

Dr. MacTaggert: Did he tell you this? Or is this something you know because of your connection?

Honor: He told me.

Dr. MacTaggert: Was that before or after your abduction?

Honor: Before.

Dr. MacTaggert: That must've been very difficult for him.

Honor: He said he never told anyone about it. Not even Momma or Rogue.

Dr. MacTaggert: Does that make it easier to share your experience with him?

Honor: I don't talk about it. How could I? Just knowing about it made him so angry. He said he was going to kill Nate, but it wasn't Nate's fault.

Dr. MacTaggert: He has a right to be angry, dear. Someone took something very precious from you. He isn't angry with you.

Honor: (Crying.) I think about Nate all the time.

Dr. MacTaggert: Take a tissue, love. What do you think about Nate?

Honor: I don't know. He was my friend. I really miss him. I hate not being able to talk to him.

Dr. MacTaggert: Do you understand why you can't talk to your friends? And Nate in particular?

Honor: Mr. Wagner says I need to purge him from my thoughts. And I've tried, but I don't want to. I don't think I could even if I wanted to. I need something that only he can give me.

Dr. MacTaggert: Like what?

Honor: I don't know. I think if I could just talk to him, I'd feel better about it.

Dr. MacTaggert: You still haven't said why you're not allowed to speak to him.

Honor: Because everyone thinks I'm just a bag full of hormones, and the second I see him, we're going to rip off our clothes and go at it like a pair of animals!

Dr. MacTaggert: Sexual maturity is a gradual process. It's designed to allow your mind and body to gradually come to grips with intercourse. That way, you can more fully understand your urges. Unfortunately, when the natural course has been derailed, as in your case, the body and mind are out of step. Part of my job is to help you realign your mental and physical development.

Honor: How?

Dr. MacTaggert: Well, I can't undo the damage to your body, so I need to teach your mind to control your body. That's why we need to discuss what you think and how you feel about Nate. But confronting these things you'd normally keep secret, they lose their power.

(Pause.)

Honor: I think about him all day and night. Sometimes I can't breathe for missing him. I get this burning in my lower belly. Right here. I've never wanted anything so badly. I'd swim the ocean to be with him, but knowing my luck, he's probably down the hall.

Dr. MacTaggert: No, darling, he's not being hidden here. That yearning to have for him is your sexual appetite. And you don't need him or anyone else to quench it for you.

Honor: I don't?

Dr. MacTaggert: Have your parents ever discussed masturbation with you?

Honor: No, but I know what it is.

Dr. MacTaggert: What is it?

Honor: It's when a guy jerks off to porn.

Dr. MacTaggert: It's a healthy alternative to sex. It can help you curb your desires. At your age, I would have to strongly discourage you from taking a sexual partner. But masturbation could be a useful tool for you.

Honor: We're out of time, Dr. MacTaggert.

Dr. MacTaggert: Never mind. The next time you feel aroused, try masturbating.

(Pause.)

Honor: I… I don't know how.

Dr. MacTaggert: I'll find a video for you. Would you feel comfortable with that?

Honor: (Nods affirmative.)

Dr. MacTaggert: Very good. Then I'll see you this afternoon at mutations control.

Patient complied with regiment. Appears to be forming friendships with the more stable patients. Inquired about David Haller. Initially unhappy about mutations control. Remy took the opportunity to make amends for his previous impatience. He observed that her repulsion for mutations control was based in a belief that she'd only use her abilities as a weapon, and that she had no desire to harm anymore. He reminded her of all the lives she saved with her talents. He encouraged her not to quit.

Honor seemed to take his advice seriously.

To Dr. MacTaggert's knowledge, Honor only spoke to Father Wagner during supper. Afterwards, she spent the evening with her father.

Side note: Bella and Rogue went to the mainland for Christmas shopping. The brief separation seemed to revitalize the entire family.

It is the opinion of Dr. MacTaggert that the LeBeau family is dedicated to the preservation of the unit. Honor's prognosis looking positive. Release in the foreseeable future.

Slept eight hours.

24 December 1998

Honor's stitches removed. Also removing antidepressants from schedule.

The following is a therapy session between Dr. MacTaggert and Honor LeBeau on the listed date at 11:00 a.m. Patient dressed casually and looking alert.

Dr. MacTaggert: Good morning, dear. How are we feeling today?

Honor: Fine. I tried the video.

Dr. MacTaggert: Oh, you mean you masturbated.

Honor: How do I know if I'm doing it right? I didn't feel anything. And we don't ejaculate.

Dr. MacTaggert: It'll take some practice; nothing is learned the first time. My first orgasm took me completely by surprise.

Honor: What did you do?

Dr. MacTaggert: Actually, my very first orgasm was induced by oral stimulation. Do you know what that means? Okay. After I became sexually active, I began masturbating. It's very liberating.

Honor: I talked to my Pop about it.

Dr. MacTaggert: Your father? Why not your mother?

Honor: I don't know. She wasn't there, and he was.

Dr. MacTaggert: What did your father say?

Honor: I told him I'd been thinking about sex non-stop and you said masturbation was a good alternative. He said it would break his heart if I started having sex. Said he'd give anything to change things, and put them right again. But if I felt like I couldn't control myself, masturbation was a much better option. He said everything sexual is a private matter, and I should only talk about it with people I can trust.

Dr. MacTaggert: I say! Bravo! Give that man a metal!

Honor: (Laughing.) I told Momma about it. She said I could never understand how difficult it was for him to be that responsible. Next time she goes to the mainland, she's going to buy him a gold star sticker. Funny, she's been sweet on him since Rogue got here.

Dr. MacTaggert: What do you mean? How's she been sweet?

Honor: She just has more patience with him. Like before, when it was just me and her, she couldn't even stand to talk about him. But now, like for his birthday, she made him breakfast in bed. Papa said no one had ever done that for him before.

Dr. MacTaggert: I'm sure I don't need to tell you that your parents are very complicated people with a very complicated relationship. What about Nate? Do you talk about him with your mother and father?

Honor: No. That's just too complicated. People have their thoughts about us. About Nate and me. But I wish people didn't know. The way they look at me.

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: Do you feel like people can't separate you from the tragedy?

Honor: Yes.

Dr. MacTaggert: And do you feel that way, too?

Honor: Yes. Sometimes.

Dr. MacTaggert: Do you think it's possible that you're really just imposing your own fears onto others? Maybe you're not trapped by their opinions, but by your own?

Honor: It would be easier to change my own mind.

Dr. MacTaggert: And it's a good way to change others', too. Ever heard the expression 'No one treats you any worse than you let them'? The same goes for what they think about you.

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: So how are we going to change what we think about ourselves?

Honor: Maybe if I didn't think about Nate. Like that.

Dr. MacTaggert: That's a good idea. How?

Honor: I don't know. I can't make myself not want him. I'm not sure I even want to.

Dr. MacTaggert: Can I give you some insight, dear? It took me years to learn what I'm about to share with you. Your biggest attraction to Nate is that he represents sex to you. You need to realize that you don't need him to be fulfilled. I know what I'm asking you to give up. Nothing's as intoxicating and sweet as first love. Giving it up is the most excruciating thing in the whole world. You'll hurt and mourn for a very long time. And you'll think that you'll never love again. Believe it or not, you will. One day you'll love the right person at the right time, and hopefully, you'll never have to feel this way again.

In the mean time, you must learn to love the life you have. You have so much to live for, dear. You have parents, who love you very much, and friends, and talents to develop. You owe it to yourself to be worth loving. No one's going to fall in love with a pretty girl with a big hole in her life where her childhood should've been.

Honor: That's what Mr. Wagner said.

Dr. MacTaggert: I'm glad to know we're reinforcing the same philosophy.

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: I've given you a lot to think about. Why don't we pick up here tomorrow?

End session.

Patient complies with regiment. Mood appears stable without antidepressants. Remy and Honor participated in mutations control. Although the pair share unique mutations, the differences are significant. Remy seems to have accepted Honor's differences, and she seems to have accepted his involvement in her development.

After MC, an orderly noticed Honor sneaking into the library. A few short minutes later, same orderly found Honor kissing Aimee Duvall. Both patients detained in separate rooms for the remainder of the day.

Dr. MacTaggert interviewed Honor on the same day at 8:33 p.m. in her room.

Dr. MacTaggert: Terry tells me he found you and Aimee snogging in the library.

Honor: Snogging. You Europeans have the funniest words.

Dr. MacTaggert: This is a very serious matter, Honor. You do realize that physical contact between patients is strictly prohibited?

Honor: Yes, m'am.

Dr. MacTaggert: Do you deny doing it?

Honor: No.

Dr. MacTaggert: Then give me a reason why I shouldn't have you on a ferry out of here tonight. Otherwise, that's exactly where you'll be.

Honor: You would kick me out? You can't do that.

Dr. MacTaggert: You willingly and knowingly violated the terms of your treatment. You showed a complete disregard for my efforts and your own progress. Frankly, I won't waste anymore resources on you if that's going to be your attitude.

Honor: I'm sorry, Dr. MacTaggert. It was only a kiss.

Dr. MacTaggert: If it happens again, you will be released. Understand?

Honor: Yes, m'am.

Dr. MacTaggert: Good. Now I want to know why you kissed Aimee.

(Pause.)

Honor: I've kissed boys before, but I never really enjoyed it. In England, I kissed Marie almost as a joke, but it made me feel all tingly. The only boy who ever made me feel that way was Nate, but we never kissed. I hate all this not knowing about my body.

Dr. MacTaggert: You'll work it out in time. If you want to understand your body, you need to understand your head first. You don't go around kissing people like you'd try on shoes to see what you prefer. It is especially useless when those people are as confused as you are!

Honor: Yes, m'am.

Dr. MacTaggert: I'm going to speak with your parents now about our next course of action. Apparently, we're not doing enough.

Honor: Papa's not here right now.

Dr. MacTaggert: What do you mean? Where is he?

Honor: He went to the mainland. He's not going to be in trouble again, is he?

Dr. MacTaggert: No, dear. This time it's different.

Honor: Because last time he left angry, and he went for a drink.

Dr. MacTaggert: That's right.

Honor: And this time he made arrangements to get married.

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: He's done what?

Honor: He and Rogue found a priest to marry them. I think the twins had something to do with it. You might be surprised at how old-fashioned he can be.

Dr. MacTaggert: You know this because of your bond?

Honor: (Nods affirmative.)

Dr. MacTaggert: He didn't say anything to you or your mother?

Honor: No, m'am. Momma would've told me if she'd known. She doesn't keep secrets from me.

Dr. MacTaggert: No, she doesn't. I'm sorry, dear, this really upsets me.

Honor: I don't understand why.

Dr. MacTaggert: Rogue should have never come here. She distracts your father. He isn't present or focused when you need him to be. He's not prepared for another marriage and more children. Worse, he can't see that.

Honor: He's doing the best he can, Dr. MacTaggert! He knows himself better than you do, and he's got just as much responsibility to Rogue and the twins as he does to Momma and me.

Dr. MacTaggert: You're right. I'm sorry. I shouldn't place my expectations on him. He's not my patient. Your father and I have conflicting fundamental views, but that shouldn't interfere with your treatment. I suppose you're very happy he and Rogue are married?

Honor: What conflicting views?

Dr. MacTaggert: He thinks a child is a good foundation for marriage, and I disagree.

Honor: He loves Rogue. She's good for him.

Dr. MacTaggert: You're not mature enough to appreciate the gravity of this situation. For you, this is the 'happily ever after'. I don't mean that in a derogatory way at all. I only mean that you're young, and your view is skewed by the happiness of the situation. That's your innocence. But people my age, and of your father's age, ought to be able to view the full situation.

Honor: I don't see what the big deal is. You had no problems with them dating. You knew she was pregnant. Them getting married shouldn't come as such a shock.

Dr. MacTaggert: Yankees. Is life always so black and white?

Honor: Excuse you! I am Cajun, Dr. MacTaggert!

Dr. MacTaggert: (Laughing.) I beg your pardon, dear. By 'Yankee', I meant 'American'. Is that life on the bayou? Boy and girl shag, girl gets in trouble, they make a quick stop at the chapel? Funny. Your father's always prided himself on being such a rebel.

Honor: Stop it! They love each other, and that's why they got married! I'm sure you had a heart once. Try to remember what it's like.

Dr. MacTaggert: I have no doubt they're in love, but why did they have to elope now? Here? I'll tell you, darling; because the marriage won't be binding in the States. It's a pitiful attempt to bargain with the Greater Powers for the lives of their unborn children. Once again, my dear, you father's bluffing. Trying to secure something without the proper sacrifice. And once again, he's gambling with something that isn't his to lose.

(Pause.)

Honor: Do you want me to hate him?

Dr. MacTaggert: No, of course not. I want to break this cycle of ignorance. Your parents were forced to marry, in part because of their pre-marital intercourse. Your father left your mother because he didn't want to be trapped in a marriage not of his choosing. He's been running ever since: thinking he could escape the chains put on him by his parents.

Now what's happened? He's forcing himself into a marriage, largely because of pre-marital intercourse. He's become the chains. He's putting himself in the same situation. How long before he runs again?

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: He won't listen to me. I think he'll listen to you, even if you tell him something he doesn't want to hear.

(Pause.)

Dr. MacTaggert: I'm sorry I upset you. I'm sorry that man's had such bad experiences with doctors that he's rejected us as a lot. I'm sorry we had to confront this issue so soon. I'll leave you to it.

Honor: Wait. You said. You said he was bargaining for the lives of his unborn children. What does that mean?

Dr. MacTaggert: Rogue's uncontrolled mutations are interfering with her pregnancy. She always knew it was a possibility under these circumstances. Her condition is high-risk, but we're managing it. No one wanted to burden you with the facts. Her presence has been distracting enough, and your focus needs to be on your recovery.

Honor: I knew he was hiding something. That's why he wanted me to work so hard at mutations control.

Dr. MacTaggert: No. Your mutations are something you need to master or you risk becoming enslaved to them. Honor, look at me. Listen. You have come so far in your time here. You have so much potential. You're beautiful and talented and a true delight to work with. I can honestly say I've never had so much hope for any of my children. I want you to leave here and conquer the world. Your family has been a great source of encouragement when you needed it. I know you value their support. Don't throw away all your hard work because of your father's ulterior motives. Don't discard the foundation they've built for you just because of one weak brick. He wants you to succeed because he loves you. We all do. That's why your parents moved here with you. That's why I force you to talk and eat and take your medications. It's not because I get some secret joy out of fighting with you. We push you for you. Not for anyone else.

Honor: Why are you crying?

Dr. MacTaggert: (Laughing.) I suppose I've become more emotionally invested in you than I realized.

Honor: Would you like a drink? I can offer you water. They won't let me have anything stronger.

Dr. MacTaggert: I need to speak with your mother, dear. Good night.

End session.

Dr. MacTaggert spoke with Bella LeBeau about Honor kissing Aimee Duvall and Remy eloping with Rogue. Concerning Honor, Bella agreed to re-enforce Muir Island's no contact policy. Bella suggested giving Honor more down time. In her opinion, Honor broke the rule because she was feeling pressured in other areas. By creating a distraction over this incident, she hoped to create her own problems: problems she already knew she could solve.

In Dr. MacTaggert's opinion, Honor's motivation for rebellion was less psychological and more physical. Her own irregular hormones and recent sexual curiosity have likely been increased by her father's infatuation with Rogue. The fact that she would act so boldly on the same day that her father elopes can be no accident. The bond between them is extraordinarily strong.

As far as Remy's news, Bella gave no discernable reaction. Requested that the pair be allowed to stay through the holidays, for Honor's sake. It is her opinion that the patient feels responsible for the pair, and an immediate separation would cause more harm than repair. She feels any perceived danger will cause Honor to relapse.

Dr. MacTaggert has decided to honor Bella's request. It has become obvious that Honor has shifted her focus from her recovery to her father's unpredictable behavior. Muir Island is supposed to be an environment sterile of the things that trigger negative behavior. However, a sudden separation would be undoubtedly traumatic.

Patient continues to comply with regiment. LeBeaus privately conversed most of the day. Dr. MacTaggert is certain that the family has decided its own course of action without her advice. In MacTaggert's opinion, Honor is not ready to leave Muir Island. If she leaves, it's almost certain that her parents will not enforce the medical, physical and dietary schedule that has been so crucial in her recovery.

However, Remy's influence has been consistently negative. His behavior requires Honor to divert energy and care from her own condition to his. Since he has refused treatment, the only other opition is removal.

The following is a meeting between Dr. MacTaggert and the LeBeau family. Time: 3:00 p.m.

Dr. MacTaggert: Thank you all for coming. We need to discuss what's best for Honor, and how we're going to accomplish this. Obviously, she's made remarkable progress, but there's still a lot of work to be done. I wouldn't feel confident releasing her at this point. She needs to be re-introduced to the world slowly, and given new freedoms gradually. She requires an outside, experienced source to help her sort through her needs and reactions.

I don't think I need to remind you that she tried to commit suicide just last week. If she left at this point, it would be against my orders. However, she came of her own freewill, and that's how she may leave. I will give you all the support I can, but it will not be the same level of care that I can provide here.

I can practically guarantee a relapse if she were to leave today.

Please do not put your pride before the welfare of your daughter.

(Pause.)

Bella: None of us are doctors, so we won't pretend to be smarter than you. But we do know our daughter better than you. The only reason we agreed to come here was because Hank thought so highly of your facility, and we were promised that Honor wouldn't be taken out of our care. Frankly, Moira, that's what you're trying to do.

Dr. MacTaggert: Not at all. You can remain at the facility, and Remy could stay on the mainland. He could still be privy to her treatments, and we could schedule visitations.

Remy: I'm not a weekend father.

Bella: Honor's made more progress than any of the patients here. You've said so yourself. The only thing that makes her different is that she's got her family here. Who's to say that she needs you more than she needs her father?

Dr. MacTaggert: Of course she needs her father. But she needs him to provide structure and self-discipline. Honor and Remy share a very deep bond, and it's become apparent that whenever he deviates from the course we've all agreed on, she misbehaves.

Since I cannot control his actions, I must teach Honor to recognize and resist this outside influence.

(Pause.)

Dr, MacTaggert: Would you like to take some time to consider what I've said?

Honor: Papa and I have spent enough time apart. If you send him away, he'll be miserable and I'll be unhappy, too. This is something that affects all of us, and we've made our decision.

We all think I'm well enough to leave. Maybe not back to one-hundred percent, but I never will be while I'm here. It's just a façade. I need to leave just like I needed to come here.

Dr. MacTaggert: I agree, but dear, you're not ready yet.

Honor: I think I am.

Dr. MacTaggert: All right. Then I guess we'll need to get your paperwork in order.

Patient released from Muir Island on Christmas Day at 5:45 p.m. Before departure, Honor bid farewell to the other patients, orderlies and doctors. Parents given a month's supply of medication and a written schedule including diet requirements, exercise recommendations, and emergency contact numbers.

As previously stated, it is Dr. MacTaggert's opinion that Honor is not stable enough to leave treatment. However, it is her hope that the damage incurred by the inevitable relapse is not too severe, and that she finds the help she needs before it's too late.

End report.

_**From**__: M__

_Moira MacTaggert_

_**To**__: _

_Henry McCoy_

**Subject**: Honor LeBeau's Release

**Sent**: 25-December-1998 10:14 p.m.

Merry Christmas Hank,

Yes, it's true. I think you know the LeBeaus well enough to deduce the circumstances. That is, if they haven't already told you.

Let me know when she is returned to your care, and I'll forward her records. Until then, all I can say is please keep an eye on her… Two if you can spare it.

Some very important news (again, if you don't already know): Rogue has incurred some complications during her pregnancy. Sometimes her mutations attempt to drain the fetuses, and sometimes it doesn't. I've given her a Genoshan collar and orders to avoid stress.

She has not spoken to me personally about the matter, but from observations, it is my belief that she has abstained from intercourse since the first incident. I only mention this because it is indicative of deep guilt and self-loathing. Please offer her some assistance. The last thing Honor needs is another self-destructive influence.

I understand the family intends to return to New York after the holidays. Honestly, it is my greatest hope that you can help save them. You are the only other person in the world I would entrust with her care.

Honor needs to know her parents are safe every day, but Xavier makes that impossible. She needs to see her mother as the intelligent, capable woman she is; but I don't think that will happen in New York. She needs to know a broken family can still function as a unit, but Rogue makes them weak.

I've come to care about the girl a great deal, and it breaks my heart that she and her parents think they can manage her condition. The situation has gone completely beyond their abilities.

Please look after her.

One last note, you'll notice I refrained from diagnosing Honor. Her symptoms were so brief and conflicting that I believe her condition temporary. Also, I hardly knew her well enough to make a diagnosis. Every day, she presented a new riddle.

Take care,

Moira


End file.
